I knew it was coming: The day when Amelia realized that her brothers had each other and she was alone.
Just yesterday I looked out at her playing on the swing in the backyard by herself and said to Jeff, "I know this is crazy, but I wish Amelia had been a twin."
Then today, we had a play date planned and Amelia's friend got sick so they had to cancel. We walked down the street to a neighbor's house to see if they wanted to play, but no one was around.
As we walked home, a very disappointed Amelia asked, "Mom, who am I going to play with?" She gestured at her brothers in the stroller and said, "They all have a friend, but I don't have anyone."
My heart broke for her.
I told her that her brothers were her friends, too, and we could all play together, but even as I said it I knew it just wasn't the same.
As soon as I found out I was pregnant with the triplets I hoped that I would have a girl. I wanted Amelia to have a sister, and I thought it would help offset the feeling of being odd one out.
Clearly, that didn't happen, and that's OK. I know that Amelia and her brothers will love each other fiercely and be good playmates as they get a little older. But I also appreciate her need to have someone her age and gender to play with.
Fortunately we live in a neighborhood with several little girls Amelia's age, so playmates aren't usually hard to find. And getting her together with friends will be easier as everyone gets a little older. But it doesn't change the fact that day in and day out, Amelia will never have a built-in buddy like the boys have.
But she'll always have three adoring brothers, and that's pretty good, too.
5 comments:
My daughter's age difference between her and my BBB triplets will be about the same as your age differences. And although they're aren't here yet, I have the same worries. I was really hoping for 1 girl, not because I felt like I needed another daughter, but because I really wanted her to have a sister. And we're done having children after this. And just like you said, I know she'll be fine, and have friends, etc., but I do know it won't be the same. Your post brought tears to my eyes, because these are my worries. And I can see myself writing a post nearly word for word in a couple of years or so.
April, shortly after my boys were born a friend sent me a news article about very successful women. The article said that many successful women have only brothers. It helps women know how to work with and handle men and often pushes them to be more competitive. Further, women who have brothers tend to have long happy marriages. Why? Because they don't need a man to love them -- they have men in their lives who love them fiercely. So they avoid the mistakes so many women make in seeking love above all else -- even in unhealthy forms and unhealthy relationships.
So, our girls may be lonely from time to time, but they will never be alone. The brothers will have their backs and that will help our girls be strong, successful, happy women. Could we ask for anything more than that?
Christy
Thanks! I certainly have those hopes for her. I have family members with only brothers, and they, unfortunately, do not have those wonderful traits. But, of course, I know it is important how you raise the girl as well. One common thing I have noticed with women who only have brothers is that they are much closer with their mothers. I have seen many instances of this, so that is something to look forward to!
OH Amelia... I know exactly how you feel!! Having younger sisters that were twins was a challenge at times, they always had a friend and worse yet they always stuck up for each other! In the end its not so bad- I spent a lot of time seeking revenge for thier friendship early on but now I am just thankful that instead of one more sister GOD gave me two! =0) When you get older I will send my 3boys to play with your brothers and you can come here and we will do girl things!
Mary,
I knew you'd weigh in, and I wondered if this was something you felt or not. I just remember that Shelly Stock came with us everywhere, so you had a friend, too. I'll bet if it hadn't been Cathy AND me, you probably wouldn't have gotten to bring a friend along so often.
I know Amelia has a couple of aunts who are ready to jump in and give her some girl time, so she'll have something special there that the boys won't share.
Post a Comment