Are You A Yeller?

It was one of those mornings. A morning when one child pooped in his pants at the park. Again. And another pooped in his pants in the yard. Again.

Everyone threw dirt and mulch at each other despite being asked repeatedly to stop and even sitting in time out for the crime.

Fits were thrown, and one of them was mine.

Then I talked with a friend this afternoon. I bemoaned yelling at my kids. She didn't say, "Don't worry we all do it." She didn't say, "It's no big deal." She listened and then she said, "You know, there's yelling at your kids and yelling at your kids."

Hmmmmm.

You know what? She's right.

Her example was that some people yell at their kids over things kids do, like accidentally spilling a cup of milk. And that's a far cry from raising your voice to put a stop to a crowd of kids doing something they shouldn't, like throwing sand, throwing food, biting, hitting, shoving etc...

She wasn't trying to justify yelling. Just pointing out that all yelling isn't equal. She encouraged me to keep trying to solve problems without yelling, but to quit beating myself up when I appropriately used one of the tools in my mommy arsenal.

I really needed that perspective and encouragement today.

Here's to putting it into action tomorrow.

© Trippin' Mama 2011

Struggling to Just Be

Recently I got a call from a head hunter who wanted to talk with me about a job opportunity. I was outside in the yard watching the boys play when my cell rang. I didn't hesitate at all before I told her that now was not the time for me to be going back to work, especially as a senior-level executive.

I haven't had any doubts since, either.

And yet, sometimes I struggle so much with this job of parenting. I struggle to just be with my kids all day. Not physically, but mentally. I am here, but not here. I find myself mentally checking out, counting down to nap time so I can do some other things, yearning for time to do something creative or challenging. All the while I'm missing out on what's right in front of me. I know that, which is why it is such a struggle.

My patience wears thin as my kids act up, although I know that they are acting up to get my attention, to bring me back to the here and now to be with them, instead of rolling through my to-do list in my head.

I know some day I will look back and regret the times when I was here and yet missed out because my head was elsewhere.

Seems the work-life balance issues still exist, even for a stay-at-home mommy. So, I'll continue to fight the good fight on this one and try to do my best to just be with my kids every day.

One thing I do know: My head may be elsewhere from time to time, but never my heart.

© Trippin' Mama 2011

It Was a Rookie Mom Moment

Today I was driving home with all of the boys in the van when a child, who shall remain nameless to protect him from future embarrassment, announced with great delight, "Look Mommy! I found another booger!"

I immediately gave the standard mom reply, "We don't pick our noses. If you have something in your nose you need to blow it."

Rookie mistake.

Next thing I knew all three boys were following my instructions and blowing their noses quite effectively. Without tissues. Straight down their fronts onto their coats.

All I could do was laugh while trying not to laugh. After all, they had listened and done exactly what I told them to.

I quickly handed back tissues, which they merrily shredded while giggling and proudly patting what they had blown out of their noses.

Luckily we were just a couple minutes from home so the damage was minimal. As soon as we pulled into the drive all three noses and six hands were wiped and all three coats went immediately into the washing machine.

Later when Jeff texted me to see how the day was going I replied, "I inadvertently taught all of the boys the farmer blow today."

Can you believe he didn't even respond to that? How could you not?

Must be a sign that crazy is the norm around here.

© Trippin' Mama 2011

You're Fired!

Today was one of those tough days. Very, very tough days. It actually started last night with a rough bedtime for one of the kids.

That was followed by another too-early morning. And the need to send more than one child back to bed for an attitude adjustment.

Things evened out for a while, and I tried. I really, really tried. But as the day went on, it went downhill.

There were time outs and yelling. Lots of time outs. Way too much yelling.

I kept taking a deep breath and trying to do better, but at every turn it seemed someone was doing something they'd already been reprimanded for. And I found myself yelling again.

Someone stuck stickers to the floor instead of the paper. Someone ate big chunks of Play-Doh. Someone colored on a wall. Someone knocked over all the pictures on the table. Someone took a large bottle of vinegar from the cupboard and spilled all over the floor. Someone threw food all over the floor AGAIN. And somehow one of the boys dug a steak knife out of the  very back of the highest drawer.

There were tears and fits. And a few of them were mine.

Quite simply, it was the kind of day that makes me feel like a failure as a mom. Because if anyone charged with caring for my children yelled at them as much as I did today, I'd fire them.

So tonight I'm firing me, at least for the next (hopefully) nine hours. I'm lecturing myself about shaking it off and having a better attitude. And I'm sending me straight to bed at 9 p.m.

Good night all. Here's to a better tomorrow.

© Trippin' Mama 2011

Life As We Know It

It's 10 p.m.

I just got back from a run to the grocery store half an hour ago. (Don't you love stores that are open 24 hours? On behalf of all busy moms, thank you, thank you, thank you!)

Right now I'm doing laundry, trying to sort through fall clothes for the kids, making a photo book, blogging, and I just ate supper. Straight out of the pot on the stove.

Actually, what's on the stove wasn't intended for supper. I'm heading out next week for Girls' Weekend with my mom and sisters, and I was trying to get something in the freezer for Jeff. Then I realized I hadn't eaten supper yet, so I had a little of what was cooking. There's still plenty to freeze.

I wanted to squeeze in a little blogging tonight, and it seems to me that this snapshot is perfect blog material.

Because this is motherhood.

This is life as I know it.

© Trippin' Mama 2010

Hi. My Name Is Mom.

Today Jeff and I took Alex and Isaac to the doctor's office.

Yes, the plague continues. Two weeks and counting. Feel free to debate which is the lesser of two evils: one sick child at a time stretching into eternity and Mommy slowly going off the deep end, or everyone sick at once so the house becomes a pit of wailing misery and Mommy flipping out fast. I have yet to decide which method of torture I prefer.

I walked up to the window with Isaac in my arms, and the receptionist said, "Name?"

I paused for a couple beats. Not because I didn't remember my name, though there have been those days, but because they always know who I am in the doctor's office. And this wasn't a new receptionist.

I told her my name and she did a double take. "Oh, I didn't recognize you without the triplets!"

The triplets! Of course! This season's hottest fashion accessory. All the rage on the runways in Paris. (Now that's a gig for one of those modeling reality shows that I'd really like to see!)

True, I usually show up there with a can't-miss-it stroller full of children, so I understand her confusion.

But it was a little reality check, too. Because that's what it comes down to, doesn't it? I have become "The Triplet Mom."

I used to have a name all my own. Most days I can even recall it.

One of the great secrets of motherhood is that you'd better make sure you love your kids' names, because their names will become your name, too. First I became "Mom." And before my first child could even talk I became "Amelia's Mom." And now I'm "The Triplet Mom."

I'll wear those titles proudly for now. I just hope that when my kids are grown I can still remember my real name.

© Trippin' Mama 2010

One Foot in Front of the Other

When I was growing up, all of us kids knew better than to say we were so sick we couldn't get out of bed. If we complained about not feeling well, Mom or Dad would always say, "Just get up and get ready. You'll probably feel better."

They were right about 95 percent of the time. Even if I didn't feel great after getting ready for the day, I usually felt good enough to head out the door.

Turns out that was a good lesson for life in general, and motherhood in particular.

I learned to get up and get over it: headaches, colds, hangovers (only once or twice, Mom, I swear), sore throats and more. I won't take a fever or vomiting out into the world, but I learned to overcome pretty much anything else.

That lesson made me a reliable employee, and it helps me cope with motherhood, where sick time is in short supply!

On days like today when I feel lousy, I just keep putting one foot in front of the other. I narrow my focus to the mission critical items and take them one at a time. And I pray for naptime to come and for Daddy to come home.

True, we might have gone a little longer between diaper changes. The food on the floor might have gotten kicked under the chairs a few times instead of being swept up. (OK, OK, so sometimes I do that even when I don't feel lousy.) And the boys may have gone down early for their nap so Mommy could rest, but we got through the day.

Oh, and can I just say thank heavens for Sesame Street and Elmo? As annoying as that little red Muppet might be, he and his friends kept my boys quiet and entertained for almost an hour today. Thank you, thank you, thank you Jim Henson. You should be sainted.

Here's to a better tomorrow.

© Trippin' Mama 2010