Amelia's Questions: The Church Edition

This morning I took Amelia to church with me. And, wow, did she ever have questions! It was like she'd never been in church before.

I came home and told Jeff that my brain hurt.

Here's a small sampling of the game of 4,382 questions we played in church this morning.

"What are those gray things?" (The organ pipes.)

"How do they make noise?" (Air travels through them when that man presses the keys. I think.)

"Why are some big and some little?" (OK, that was a good question. Big=low sound. Small=high sound.)

"Why?" (Too hard to explain in church. Ask me later. And she will, too.)

"Is that the priest?" (Thanks for the easy one. Yes.)

"Why is he wearing a green dress?" (It's not a dress, those are called vestments. It's like his uniform.)

"Why are they green?" (How do I explain ordinary time in the liturgical calendar to a four year old?)

"Why does he have two helpers?" (Because he needs two.)

"Why is one a girl and one a boy?" (Because that's who showed up to help today.)

"Is that lady a priest, too?" (Hoo boy! Whole can of religious worms there. Let's just settle for no.)

"What is she?" (She's a lector, which is a big word for the person who reads us a story.)

"Is she going to sing?" (No, she's going to read us a story.)

"Is this lady going to sing?" (Another easy one. Yes.)

"Is this lady a priest? There sure are a lot of ladies here." (No, she's not a priest, and yes, there are.)

"Why is he holding up that book?" (That's the Bible, and it's very important so he wants us all to see it.)

By this point in the Mass it was time to ask why Mommy had a headache, and we weren't even half done.

We covered the collection, why the priest raises his hands, why we kneel, why some people hold hands during the prayer and some don't, who gets to go to the front of the church for communion, why some people need a drink (Sacramental wine, people! Stay with me here.) and some don't, why the piano sounds different than the organ, who was in the picture at the front of the church, why the stained glass made the light different colors, why there were banners and a couple hundred additional topics.

I think I got about half of the answers right.

Anyone want to take a beautiful, curious, precocious four-year-old girl to church next Sunday? She comes with a free bottle of Extra-Strength Tylenol.

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