Showing posts with label multiples. Show all posts
Showing posts with label multiples. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

They Lied to Me

Now that the boys are the same age Amelia was when we brought them home I look at them and wonder how we ever survived. I never had four in diapers, since Amelia was fully potty-trained when the boys were born, but she was not sleeping consistently through the night.

And she was two. TWO!

Now we're back at two again. Setting aside the fact that I can't believe the boys are in the thick of being two already, I have days when I wonder if we'll all survive to see three.

Before the boys were born many of my fellow moms of multiples said, "If you can just survive the first year it's all downhill from there."

Liars.

Yes, the first year was tough. Brutal even. And honestly I have (mercifully) already forgotten much of it. But the pumping, feeding every three hours, sleeping in 45-minute increments, and never having time to shower or eat? I remember. The spoon feeding, diaper changing, baby bathing, bottle washing and laundry marathons? I remember those too.

But two years old? Times three? The velocity, the energy, the curiousity, the into-everythingness is AMAZING. Also, exhausting.

The other day we were playing with Play-doh, and I was breaking a sweat trying to keep up. One wanted help cutting out a circle. Another wanted to "quish" the orange Play-doh, not the yellow he had. A third wanted me to make balls to put in his cup. And no one wanted to wait patiently or play on his own while mommy helped someone else.  The faster I filled their requests, the faster the requests came at me.

It reminded me of spoon feeding them in the early days when they would open their mouths and squawk for more the second they swallowed. They made me sweat then, too!

I am continually trying to keep up with them. Their imaginations are in high gear and I spend a lot of time trying to understand what they are talking about and whether it is real or pretend. Then there are the special toys, cars and tiny pieces of things that must be found, sending Mommy on a treasure hunt all around the house.

Then there's the typical two-year-old behavior. You know, the less-than-accepting response when the answer is "no." The sudden changes in what they like and don't like that leave their mama completely confused. The physical acting out when they are mad or frustrated.

Some days you'd think there was a rule here that the time-out chair can never be empty. And I'm sure the neighbors sometimes think I'm beating the kids for all the wailing in anguish they do when they don't get exactly what they want. I promise I'm not, though sometimes they beat on each other. Just one of many reasons we need the time-out chair.

The early days were crazy, sure, but three two-year-olds raises the crazy stakes to a whole new level. At least in the beginning everyone needed pretty much the same thing at the same time. Three bottles, three diaper changes, three baths etc... Now, everyone needs different things at the same time. I thought the juggling was crazy when it was trying to get everyone fed at the same time and sleeping at the same time.

These days I'll often find myself playing race cars and eating a pretend lunch someone's whipped up in the play kitchen while singing "The Itsy-Bitsy Spider" with the third boy. I try to grab every moment I can to do something one-on-one with each of the kids. Amelia gets the boys' nap time and the boys get whatever moments I can find when the others are busy. It's not easy, and I try not to obsess about those days when mommy time isn't very equitable.

One thing does make this age easier than the early days: I get to sleep at night. Let's hear an "Amen" for that!


© Trippin' Mama 2011

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Peace and Quiet and Sewage


Ah. Peace and quiet.

We reveled in it this weekend, thanks to the best Christmas gift ever: a whole night of babysitting. (Thanks Sarah and Dustin. Glad the Lillputians didn't take you down.)

Jeff and I escaped yesterday afternoon to check into a hotel and soak in the hot tub before heading out for an evening of fun at our multiples club's holiday party. We stayed out well past our bedtime, knowing there would be no 6 a.m. (or earlier!) wakeup call from the kids. Then we slept soundly and much later than usual since there were no cries of "Paci!" in the wee hours.

Bliss.

At least until the late-morning call came that sewage was backing up through one of our toilets.

Hallmark doesn't make a card that says "Thanks for watching the kids. Sorry about the toilet."

But that's life, right?

Sometimes sewage happens.

You can get upset about it, or just mop it up and move on.

We chose the latter.

Though I did feel a little bit bad since the kids slept all night, but Sarah and Dustin were up tending an overflowing toilet.

That wasn't what I meant when I told them we were still doing a little potty training.


© Trippin' Mama 2011

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Wordful Wednesday: Life with Three Toddlers


Here's a snapshot of what life with triplet toddlers is really like.

Today I had Isaac on the potty after he finished his lunch. Sam and Alex were still eating, safely contained in their highchairs where they couldn't get into any trouble.

Or so I thought.

In the two minutes we were in the bathroom, Alex decorated himself with his applesauce.


He was WAY more pleased about it than his mama.

Play along with Wordful Wednesday at:


© Trippin' Mama 2011

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Seven Times the Fun


Today I took Amelia and the boys back to the local sculpture park. We met up with half a dozen other moms of triplets. We turned a few heads with our triple strollers and passel of kids, but we had a great time. The weather was gorgeous and the kids had fun playing and picnicking.

Isaac appears to be explaining his favorite sculpture.

Amelia was too busy playing with her friend Matthew to let me take her picture, but I got a few quick pics of the boys before I had to put the camera aside to run after them.

Sam sits still for a rare moment. (But refuses to look at Mommy!)

Lunchtime turned into something of a free-for-all, with various kids begging for their food of choice. Of course, none of us cared, which was good, because the sippy cups were probably in everyone's mouths at some point.

My boys were particularly excited that someone brought blueberries. Isaac saw the blueberries, looked around for Alex and hollered "Beebees!" Once Alex joined that fray I'm not sure her kids got any!

Alex mugs for the camera.

My friend Stacie had her triplet girls there. They will be a year old in August, and they tuckered out and fell asleep in their strollers. My guys could not stay away from the sleeping babies.

Sam, especially, wanted to lay his head on Olivia. He would say "Baby sleeping. Awwww." And then he'd lay his head on her tummy for a snuggle. It was cute, but I didn't want him to wake her up.

It was a great time, and we'll have to do it again sometime soon.

© Trippin' Mama 2010

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Happy Birthday to Us

Today is my birthday. It is a celebration I have always been fortunate enough to share with my twin sister Cathy.

Me and my twin sister Cathy ~ November 2008.


My clearly fraternal twin sister Cathy.

Here we are about age 2. Cu-ute!

Of course, I didn't always see it as my good fortune that I shared my birthday, and pretty much everything else with my twin. Luckily, age brings wisdom and understanding, too!

Cathy is four minutes older than me, and we were different from the second we were born: She with a head full of dark hair and me with a few gingery wisps. She with an easygoing nature and me a colicky baby.

We are in many ways polar opposites. She's as quiet as I am talkative, as reserved as I am outgoing. Cathy is a registered nurse who works with severely disabled kids, most of whom can't communicate at all. And I spent my pre-SAHM days working in communications and PR. We wouldn't do each other's jobs for all the tea in China.

Our differences extended all the way to our birthday cake preferences. I always requested chocolate devils food with chocolate frosting and Cathy always wanted angel food cake with no frosting. (Let's not read too much into that, shall we?)

So every year my mom baked two birthday cakes. Five days after Christmas. When the last thing anyone wanted (other then the birthday girls!) was another sweet thing in the house. I never thought much about it at the time, but now I appreciate that she went to the trouble of making sure we each had our own cake and it was exactly what we wanted.

Doesn't every birthday girl and boy deserve that? Even if they share their birthday? I think so.

Though for right now no one has a cake preference, so cupcakes will probably do the trick for the first couple of years. I know the boys will be delighted with the birthday cupcakes we'll all be sharing after supper tonight. But as they get older, I fully intend to bake three cakes, just as I would if the boys didn't share a birthday.

I am glad that my triplets are fraternal, since that's my own experience as a multiple. Most people don't even believe that Cathy and I are sisters, let alone twins. It was an advantage to not look alike, because we never had trouble being seen as individuals, instead of as "the twins." I think my boys will find the same is true for them.

I'm sure I'll make just as many mistakes with my boys as any mom, despite being a multiple myself, but it does give me a little extra insight. I watch my boys play together and remember playing with Cathy in the same ways from early, early on. And I know firsthand the importance of individual pictures, getting your own birthday cake and gift, and not being always lumped together.

I also know that not taking my kids to the grocery store because it's too much work won't scar them for life. Somehow they will figure that out despite being deprived of grocery store trips as a toddler. I did. And I know that I should expend my effort and energy (and some things we do require massive amounts of both!) for the things they need and the trips that will create lifelong memories, not the mundane.

I know that growing up with someone who shares ALL of your childhood experiences, from playing with Barbie dolls to going on family vacations, is a unique experience and creates a special bond.

Cathy is probably the only other person in the world who remembers that we had one lone male Ken doll, who had only one arm by the time we inherited him, and possessed just one outfit: a Tarzan-esque leopard skin. We never bothered to get him other clothes. I'm not sure why. Without her I'd be alone in that weird memory.

I also know that it can feel restricting to share so much at times, because sometimes it seems that nothing belongs solely to you. We shared a room (good), toys and books (often not so good), classes in high school (good and bad), friends (also good and bad). But we got to do our own things, too, though we just shared our experiences with each other as soon as we were together again.

But every year on my birthday, I am reminded that despite all the times I bemoaned that I HAD to share with Cathy, I am very lucky because I GOT to share so much with her. Tarzan Ken dolls and all.

Happy birthday, sis. Remember, we're not another year older, but another year brighter!

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Shout Out on Multiples and More

When it rains, it pours! Today I'm being featured on the Multiples and More Blog Network. If you've followed the link from Multiples and More and are here for the first time, welcome!

Lani and Amanda asked me for a list of my favorite posts, and it was tough to choose! I sent them lots to pick from, but here are a few for you to enjoy or enjoy again.

Was That Gucci? - You've got to read this story to believe it!
Jingle Bell Joy - Video from Amelia's Christmas pageant.
36 Unbelievable Weeks - Check out the size of this pregnant lady. Hey, that's me!
You Can Do It. We Can Help? - Here's a trip to Home Depot that just can't be beat.
Mean Santa - Santa's mean, but mommy's a genius.
Babies Dance - 34 weeks pregnant, and a video of the babies moving and grooving.
Could She Do A Little Laundry? - Short and smart alecky, just like me!

Do you have a favorite that I've missed? Let me know and I'll add it to a Favorite Posts list for the left-hand menu.

If you've got a minute, cruise on over to Multiples and More and check out their feature of my blog and their other offerings.

Christy

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Amelia's Big Day

Today Amelia went to the zoo with Mom & Dad while Grandpa D. watched the boys. It was a little chilly out, but we had a great time. I think the last time we went was last summer when I was about 30 weeks pregnant with the boys. It was much easier to get around this time!

Amelia & Daddy together at the zoo.


The dolphin show is always a favorite, as are the penguins. Today we also saw the lions pretty close, and a rooster that was crowing. Amelia did NOT like the rooster. She was scared and wanted to leave as fast as possible. As we went from one exhibit to the next, Amelia kept saying, "I want to see more animals." I think we saw almost all of them!

After her nap, Amelia got to color with her new markers. She colored the Christmas ornament that Grandma Alice and Grandpa Ernie gave her. I'm sure it isn't intentional that it looks like this little house is on fire.

Amelia's Christmas ornament, March 2009. Almost 3 years old.


Then we all got ready to go to church. Amelia looked so cute in her dress that Grandma D. and Aunt Allie picked out. She refused to wear the little sweater that came with it, but I did talk her into tights. When Jeff saw this picture all he could say was, "I'm in so much trouble." Yes, he is. And so am I!

Amelia strikes a pose in her new dress. Thanks, Grandma D. & Aunt Allie!

This was the first time we took the boys to church other than for their baptismal ceremony. They were so good! Isaac fussed a little on his way to sleep, and Sam fussed a little before church started, but all three slept almost the entire time. I think they were trying to lull us into a false sense of security. I still haven't figured out how we can take all four kids without a third set of hands, but it was nice to all go to church as a family.


Sam, Isaac, Alex and Amelia.


Grandpa D., Alex, Jeff, Isaac, Amelia and Sam.

When Grandpa D. was on the phone with Grandma D. tonight talking about his flight home tomorrow, I was in the background shouting, "You can't have him back!" It's always so nice to have family visit, and the boys are growing so fast that they are like whole new kids if you haven't seen them in a couple of months.

We'll have more family visiting soon. We're looking forward to seeing Allie at the end of the month and Susie in May. They'll be amazed at how things have changed around here!

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Miss Manners, or Should That Be Mis-manners?

This post has been brewing for a long time, really ever since I first started to share with the world that I was pregnant with triplets. I'm motivated to put it out there now as the one-year anniversary of this journey rolls around.

I realize that triplets are not an everyday occurrence, and I am getting used to the fact that we will create a scene wherever we go. But what I cannot get used to (and refuse to, for the sake of civility, at a minimum!), is how total strangers will now ask me how my children were conceived.

The question comes in many forms: Did you use drugs? Do multiples run in your family? Did you do IVF? Did you use fertility treatments? Are they natural?

(The last is my personal favorite as it gives me the opportunity to respond with a snappy, "No, they are made of space-age polymer. It's machine washable and very durable.")

However it is phrased, what everyone is really asking is how we conceived our kids. That question is pretty personal even for close friends and family, but complete strangers? Grocery store cashiers, waitresses and other moms at the pediatrician's office? It's the very definition of rude.

I am not naive, but I was taken aback by this the first few times. I guess I thought there was still some civility and common courtesy in the world. Do people really not realize how rude their questions are? Miss Manners would have a fit. Oh, and if you find yourself starting a question with, "Do you mind if I ask..." rest assured that it is a question you shouldn't be asking.

There are plenty of families with multiples who are out there telling (and selling!) their stories for all to hear. Go watch TLC's "Jon & Kate Plus 8" or check out the latest appearance by octomom Nadya Suleman if you want intimate details about someone's multiple conception. Unfortunately, too many people take the sharing of these stories as license to ask the rest of us multi-mamas (and papas) anything they want to know.

Don't get me wrong. I have no objection to Jon and Kate Gosselin or any other family sharing their story. That is their choice. If they didn't want the world to know, they wouldn't be on television. But their stories shouldn't make it open season on every family with multiples who just wants to take their kids to the zoo or get the grocery shopping done.

Since we had our triplets, we have gotten to know a lot of parents of multiples. Some conceived their multiples without fertility assistance and some didn't, but all of them have to deal with this question. Everyone has different ways of handling it.

One dad of triplets likes to respond with a perfectly deadpanned, "I have super sperm." He says it never fails to end the conversation.

Some moms who dealt with infertility, like to respond with "Why do you ask?" This leaves the door open for a conversation about struggling with infertility, if the person asking is going through that struggle themselves or knows someone who is. It is also designed to embarrass the person who is asking because they are just curious, though I doubt that ever works. If they had that kind of sensitivity and manners, they wouldn't ask in the first place.

When I'm feeling nice I respond by telling people that I am a twin. I have a fraternal twin sister, and it is relevant to the conversation, but it doesn't really answer the question. It's a little like answering the question, "Do you like dogs?" by saying, "My grandma has a parakeet." But, people generally draw their own conclusions and move on to politer, more appropriate conversation.

When I'm feeling less benevolent, I like to take the opportunity to answer in a way that will make said stranger think twice about asking anyone else that question. It goes like this:

Stranger: [Insert insensitive, inappropriate question about my triplets' conception here.]

Me: Well, since we really don't know each other, it's a little personal to ask how my babies were conceived, but if you must know. My daughter had severe acid reflux and was a horrible sleeper until she was 18 months old. When she finally started to sleep through the night, my husband and I were just full of energy, so one afternoon...

Generally, the uncomfortable TMI (too much information) look comes across the stranger's face and you can see them wishing they had never asked the question. Which is exactly the result I'm after. Perhaps, at a minimum, I've made them think twice about asking the question of someone else. If nothing else, I feel better.

The short variation on this theme is to smile sweetly and say, "If my husband isn't questioning how they were conceived, why should you?"

[Sigh.] Miss Manners has a lot of work to do.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Cranky Pants

Sorry I didn't post yesterday. It was one of those days as a triplet mama that makes you want to salt your children and eat them whole. Or at least eat a gallon of premium ice cream.

No one napped well and everyone had their cranky pants on all day. HA! That's an understatement. All of the boys power napped in about 30-minute increments. That doesn't sound too bad, right? Until you factor in the time it takes to get them all down and come up with 10 minutes at stretch without a crying baby.

Nothing made them happy. Not bottles, not bouncies, not peekaboo, not rocking, not walking, not being salted... (Just kidding! Had to make sure you were still paying attention!) Jeff, also known as World's Best Husband, came home early after we talked at noon and I was entering my fifth hour of non-stop crankiness. (The children's, not mine. Though come to think about it...)

A quick, hot soak in the tub to unwind muscles that had literally been holding two babies at once most of the day made things look a whole lot better to me. And while one or the other of us still spent much of the evening holding two babies at once, just having a second set of hands here cuts the stress level at least in half.

Perhaps the hardest part about yesterday wasn't the crying and fussing, but knowing the whole time that if I had just one baby and he/she was having a bad day I could have held and soothed that one baby much better than I could help my triplets. Sometimes it's very frustrating to do half a job or one-third of a job in comforting a child. When do you set down the one that's still crying in your arms to pick up ONE of the two children crying in the crib? Who do you pick up first? How do you soothe the babies you can't hold or even pat because your hands are already full? And then there's the gymnastics of holding two babies, setting one baby down while holding another, jiggling one on a hip while trying to pat two others in the crib.

When we had Amelia I remember someone telling me that nothing in this world could make you feel more inadequate than a crying baby. I found that to be very true. But THREE crying babies will make you feel even more inadequate. Trust me

Even though it was a challenging day, it was still a day that brought the occasional smiles and giggles in and amongst the fussing. And those things will make even the worst day seem pretty darn good.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Uni-tasking

Women are multi-taskers by nature, and moms are multi-taskers by necessity. Moms of multiples, even more so!

But sometimes I find myself multi-tasking out of habit rather than necessity. I find myself doing two or three or even four things at once, but only doing half a job (or less) at each.

So I'm taking a stand for uni-tasking. Oh, I know it's not always possible, but I am resolving to focus on the task at hand and quit doing several things at once out of habit rather than necessity.

I believe my world will be better, my family and friends happier, if I limit my multi-tasking when I'm interacting with them. When I'm feeding my babies I will feed my babies. When I play with Amelia, I will get down on the floor with her and enjoy our playtime. When I'm talking with a friend on the phone I will focus on the conversation instead of doing 10 other things at the same time. When I ask my husband how his day was, I will listen to his answer and have a real conversation.

Sure, I'll still run a load of laundry and deal with the insurance company's automated telehell while I unload the dishwasher and clean the kitchen. But, when it comes to spending time with my family and enjoying my children, I will not be distracted by my lengthy to-do list.

Multi-tasking may be a necessity, but it can also be a bad habit -- one that gets in the way of enjoying the many little pleasures and moments that make life worth living. We all deserve to enjoy life, so just for today -- even for just an hour -- set aside society's demands to do more, more, more and uni-task. Focus on something important in your life and give it your full attention. Your life will be richer for it.