You Can Do It. We Can Help?

Today, my mom and I went to Home Depot to purchase a new, larger capacity washer and dryer and a second refrigerator for the garage. She and Jeff had scoped it all out Saturday, and I called to ask if they had the electric carts so I could take it easy and wouldn't have to walk very far. They did. So, feeling fine this morning, and committed to staying off my feet as much as possible (I'm not on bed rest, but there's that whole stamina issue), we drove to Home Depot.

A very helpful sales associate went to get me an electric cart. The first one was dead, despite the fact that it was plugged in, but the second one worked. I got on and off we went. Well, sort of. Let's just say that in a foot race held TODAY, I could have beaten anyone driving this electric cart.

After a brief stop in the paint department, we headed for the appliances at the back of the store. It was there that my cart gave a couple mighty gasps and died. Completely. Dead battery.

Isn't is a little embarrassing that Home Depot can't keep its electric carts working? Aren't they in the business of fixing stuff? I wanted to tell the associate who came to my aid, "Batteries are on aisle 9."

Instead, I hoisted myself off the electric cart and transferred myself to a comfy looking rolling office chair in the appliance department. Meanwhile two sales guys came and lifted the dead electric cart onto one of those big pallet carts and wheeled it back to its "charging station" and said they'd bring me one of their wheelchairs.

But they couldn't find any of their wheelchairs.

Perhaps the wheels came off and they were all in the back room waiting for a do-it-yourselfer to put the wheels back on?

Now I must apologize that we don't have video of this, because it was laugh-out-loud funny, but that left me scooting around the appliance section on a rolling chair, with my mom behind me helping to steer. Occasionally I'd get up and walk a bit, but mostly it was me, the laughing Buddha, on a rolling chair, shopping for a washer and dryer and a refrigerator. I thought Home Depot should have thrown in an extra 10% off just for that!

When we walked out, all the way from the BACK OF THE STORE, we said something about no electric cart and no wheelchair, and another sales associate said she knew where the wheelchairs were, but by then it was too late. I'd already scooted around the entire appliance department on a rolling office chair, and our car was right outside the door.

So thanks Home Depot. I CAN do it, but as for your help...you might want to work on that.

Who Designs Maternity Clothes?

I had to go buy a few more maternity clothes tonight, as I am quickly outgrowing what I have. Our Tuesday night sitter came, so Jeff and I went out together. I told him he could go to the bookstore and I'd call him when I was done, but he gamely went with me to the store. Of course, we spent most of our time there making fun of the clothes.

Seriously, who designs this stuff? Clearly they think a wild pattern will help distract the eye, and they might be right -- but then they ruin that plan by sticking a big bow right on top of the pregnant belly! Jeff wasn't sure if some of the patterns were hypnotizing him or giving him motion sickness. I had to agree.

I put on a green dress that looked pretty promising on the hanger. Jeff took one look and said, "Ho, ho, ho. Green Giant." I'm still laughing about that.

I threatened to put the pregnant belly prosthetic they provide for those over-eager first time mommies who go shopping for maternity clothes before they actually have a baby belly. As I already look nearly full-term, that would have really been something!

I did find a couple of things that looked good and fit, for now, but a little advice for all the designers out there.

1. Clothes should not enhance a pregnant woman's Humpty Dumpty shape, but help disguise it a bit.
2. Most of American women are fairly large and big-busted to begin with. So why do designers think that pregnant American women wear a B cup? If I see one more woman -- pregnant or not -- wearing an empire waisted shirt or dress with the seam that should go under the bust running right across the bust -- UGH! A little more room from shoulder to bust line would be nice.
3. A few patterns that don't look like someone ate a Picasso and threw up would be nice.

I suppose it could have been worse. I could have been trying to buy a swimsuit.