Seriously, who designs this stuff? Clearly they think a wild pattern will help distract the eye, and they might be right -- but then they ruin that plan by sticking a big bow right on top of the pregnant belly! Jeff wasn't sure if some of the patterns were hypnotizing him or giving him motion sickness. I had to agree.
I put on a green dress that looked pretty promising on the hanger. Jeff took one look and said, "Ho, ho, ho. Green Giant." I'm still laughing about that.
I threatened to put the pregnant belly prosthetic they provide for those over-eager first time mommies who go shopping for maternity clothes before they actually have a baby belly. As I already look nearly full-term, that would have really been something!
I did find a couple of things that looked good and fit, for now, but a little advice for all the designers out there.
- Clothes should not enhance a pregnant woman's Humpty Dumpty shape, but help disguise it a bit.
- Most of American women are fairly large and big-busted to begin with. So why do designers think that pregnant American women wear a B cup? If I see one more woman -- pregnant or not -- wearing an empire waisted shirt or dress with the seam that should go under the bust running right across the bust -- UGH! A little more room from shoulder to bust line would be nice.
- A few patterns that don't look like someone ate a Picasso and threw up would be nice.
I suppose it could have been worse. I could have been trying to buy a swimsuit.