Who Designs Maternity Clothes?

I had to go buy a few more maternity clothes tonight, as I am quickly outgrowing what I have. Our Tuesday night sitter came, so Jeff and I went out together. I told him he could go to the bookstore and I'd call him when I was done, but he gamely went with me to the store. Of course, we spent most of our time there making fun of the clothes.

Seriously, who designs this stuff? Clearly they think a wild pattern will help distract the eye, and they might be right -- but then they ruin that plan by sticking a big bow right on top of the pregnant belly! Jeff wasn't sure if some of the patterns were hypnotizing him or giving him motion sickness. I had to agree.

I put on a green dress that looked pretty promising on the hanger. Jeff took one look and said, "Ho, ho, ho. Green Giant." I'm still laughing about that.

I threatened to put the pregnant belly prosthetic they provide for those over-eager first time mommies who go shopping for maternity clothes before they actually have a baby belly. As I already look nearly full-term, that would have really been something!

I did find a couple of things that looked good and fit, for now, but a little advice for all the designers out there.

1. Clothes should not enhance a pregnant woman's Humpty Dumpty shape, but help disguise it a bit.
2. Most of American women are fairly large and big-busted to begin with. So why do designers think that pregnant American women wear a B cup? If I see one more woman -- pregnant or not -- wearing an empire waisted shirt or dress with the seam that should go under the bust running right across the bust -- UGH! A little more room from shoulder to bust line would be nice.
3. A few patterns that don't look like someone ate a Picasso and threw up would be nice.

I suppose it could have been worse. I could have been trying to buy a swimsuit.