My latest complaint...inspired by Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop.
Last weekend Jeff and I went to the holiday party for the local parents of triplets and more group. We had a blast. Of course we did. There were 30 couples there free from the daily rigors of caring for many small children, the alcohol table was well stocked and the food was fantastic! It was great to reconnect with old friends and make new friends and just not be responsible for anyone but ourselves for a few hours.
While we were talking one of the dads mentioned that one of the comments he gets about his triplets that annoys him the most is: "I know exactly what you are dealing with. My sister-in-law (cousin, friend's brother, etc...) has twins."
I have to agree. That's pretty annoying.
Because really. Knowing someone who has twins qualifies you as an expert on the day-to-day caring for higher order multiples?
Oh no, my friend. It's not that easy.
First of all, the multiples you are discussing so expertly are not even yours. Truth be told, if they were you would probably be the first one saying, "I have no idea how you manage three (or four or one more than the number of multiples you have)." We are forever wondering how in the world we would manage four instead of three.
Secondly, until you have kicked a small child away from danger because your arms were already full of kids, you have no idea what it's like dealing with higher order multiples. And until the logistics of safely bathing your children or getting them out of the van and across the parking lot sans stroller begin to resemble a complex math problem, you might want to hold off on sharing your expertise.
I often find myself in situations where I can honestly say that having triplets plus one probably isn't very different than having four kids all different ages.
And then there's the other 95 percent of the time.
For example, getting ready to go outside in the winter. Amelia, who is 3 1/2, can use the potty and put on her snow pants, coat, and boots with minimal help and a little verbal encouragement. The triplets on the other hand, must be fully dressed by mom or dad. It's a major workout. Three sets of snow pants, three sets of boots and three coats. I sweated off three pounds the other day.
(And who on earth bought coats with two layers to zip up? Oh, wait, that was me. Well, I won't make that mistake again, trust me!)
Or how about the bathing? We used to whip all three babies through kitchen sink baths in less than 15 minutes total. Until they started to protest because they wanted to play in the water. So we moved to bathing all three in the tub together. Easy with two parents: one to tend the tub and one to bring babies in and take them out. But just one parent? That's a little trickier.
Amelia's old enough to be in the tub by herself for a minute or two as long as I am within earshot, but not the three little ones. You can't carry all three, and you can't put one or two in the tub or even in the bathroom and then go get the third. Once you get them all in there, you have the same problem getting them out. Now that the boys can walk, one parent can sort of herd them to and from the bathroom, though we almost always have an escapee. And we are virtually guaranteed someone will pee on the carpet before everyone gets diapered.
Sometimes my head hurts from trying to figure out how we're going to deal with the logistics of three babies, let alone three plus a preschooler.
Until your babies outnumber your arms, you will never know "exactly what we are dealing with," so please, keep your opinions to yourself.
Or, if you'd rather, come on over. I'll be happy to treat you to the full experience.
Sam
Isaac
Alex
