Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Struggling to Just Be

Recently I got a call from a head hunter who wanted to talk with me about a job opportunity. I was outside in the yard watching the boys play when my cell rang. I didn't hesitate at all before I told her that now was not the time for me to be going back to work, especially as a senior-level executive.

I haven't had any doubts since, either.

And yet, sometimes I struggle so much with this job of parenting. I struggle to just be with my kids all day. Not physically, but mentally. I am here, but not here. I find myself mentally checking out, counting down to nap time so I can do some other things, yearning for time to do something creative or challenging. All the while I'm missing out on what's right in front of me. I know that, which is why it is such a struggle.

My patience wears thin as my kids act up, although I know that they are acting up to get my attention, to bring me back to the here and now to be with them, instead of rolling through my to-do list in my head.

I know some day I will look back and regret the times when I was here and yet missed out because my head was elsewhere.

Seems the work-life balance issues still exist, even for a stay-at-home mommy. So, I'll continue to fight the good fight on this one and try to do my best to just be with my kids every day.

One thing I do know: My head may be elsewhere from time to time, but never my heart.

© Trippin' Mama 2011