I immediately got back several replies, including this one:
Others responded with:
- Stop licking the van!
- Don't hit your brother/sister so hard.
- Don't touch the poop.
- That's not a hat. That's a sandwich.
And our Christmas cheer entry:
- Quit eating Jesus!
When I became a mom I figured I'd hear myself saying all the standard-issue mom things. "Keep your fingers out of your nose." "Don't run in the house." "No jumping on the bed." You know, typical things.
But then I found out that this job isn't standard issue at all. I found myself saying, "Keep the play-do out of your nose!" and "We don't bang on the walls with our baby dolls." and "We don't play in the sandbox naked." And that was with just one child!
Then the triplets came along and added a whole new level of bizarre to the parenting, and consequently, to the things I say. At nine months there was, "Don't pants your brother!" At 11 months, "Don't chew your food and give it to your brother." At one year, "Don't make your brother eat the sand." "Don't play in your brother's snot." And tonight, "Peeing in the bathtub isn't funny."
Except it is funny. And I can't wait to hear what comes out of my mouth down the road.
What about you? What's on your list of things you never thought you'd say?