Tuesday, November 24, 2009

The Things Moms Say

The other day I sent out a quick Tweet:

I immediately got back several replies, including this one:

Others responded with:
  • Stop licking the van!
  • Don't hit your brother/sister so hard.
  • Don't touch the poop.
  • That's not a hat. That's a sandwich.

And our Christmas cheer entry:

  • Quit eating Jesus!

When I became a mom I figured I'd hear myself saying all the standard-issue mom things. "Keep your fingers out of your nose." "Don't run in the house." "No jumping on the bed." You know, typical things.

But then I found out that this job isn't standard issue at all. I found myself saying, "Keep the play-do out of your nose!" and "We don't bang on the walls with our baby dolls." and "We don't play in the sandbox naked." And that was with just one child!

Then the triplets came along and added a whole new level of bizarre to the parenting, and consequently, to the things I say. At nine months there was, "Don't pants your brother!" At 11 months, "Don't chew your food and give it to your brother." At one year, "Don't make your brother eat the sand." "Don't play in your brother's snot." And tonight, "Peeing in the bathtub isn't funny."

Except it is funny. And I can't wait to hear what comes out of my mouth down the road.

What about you? What's on your list of things you never thought you'd say?


Ann and Tim said...

My triplets are only 8 months, but I already yelled "don't play with your sister's butt!" I realized they were too big to share the changing table that day.

Anonymous said...

To my 12 month old, "Don't suck on the door hinge!" The front door hinges get cold and they feel good on his gums I guess???

elizabeth.mallers said...

The other day I said, "No, we don't use the dog to climb over the gates." I don't know who gave me the best look, Thomas upset for getting caught or Gracie, the dog for being rescued. My husband was in the other room and simply said, "Thomas leave Gracie alone" like it was everyday this happened. I will give Thomas credit, the dog had given him the extra inches he needed and he was almost home free.

Beth said...

1) Mama doesn't like to be stabbed with a fork.
2) Get your mouth off of that [public] toilet.

Robbie said...

OK I can't quit laughing over "Quit eating Jesus!"

Most of my comments I just can't print here... : )

Suz said...

I have to admit, I yelled "Quit eating Jesus" at the dog. Last year.

Recent entry?
said to 10-yr-old twin A, "No, you may not drive the car."

said to 11-yr-old twin B, "I know you know how to use the drill driver, but playhouse does NOT need an antenna. There's no TV out there."