Sunday, August 3, 2008

Bone Tired

It's 5:00 a.m. and I am awake and uncomfortable. I desperately want to be asleep, but I've been trying for hours to find a comfortable position and have decided that "laptop on belly" won't be any worse than anything else I've tried.

Until recently I never truly understood the phrase "bone tired." Oh, I got the meaning of it, of course, but I had never lived it. I never knew what it was to be so tired that I was tired in my very bones.

I do now.

It's not just tired.

It's bigger than sleep deprived.

"Exhausted" doesn't begin to describe it.

It is an exhaustion that is so deep it lives in your very bones. It's a tired so intense that I practically pass out when my head hits the pillow. And when I wake two hours later because I'm uncomfortable or have to use the bathroom, I want to cry because I'm awake and just as tired as before I ever laid down to begin with. It's my body demanding sleep, but not being able to get enough rest.

Thankfully, it does ebb and flow, and every time the tired settles in my bones I send up a prayer that it's because the babies are going through a growth spurt.

We are blessed that this pregnancy is going so smoothly, and I have been able to do as much as I have been all the way to 27 weeks. But, I would be lying if I said it was easy. We have now reached the point where it's just a little harder every day.

For the sake of all those out there who are reading this because they are on their own triplet journey, I am sharing the reality. For those who are praying, I share this because we earnestly need your prayers, and we are grateful for your support every day. And for the triplets, whom I will someday share this story with, I want you to know that while it wasn't easy, it was worth the effort.

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